Mice and Relationships
It’s 03:34 AM here in New York City and I should probably be sleeping right now, getting some rest for tomorrow’s hundreds of emails and of course exploring my favorite city. But instead of sleeping and my mind wandering off to whatever weird place it usually goes (believe me I got the weirdest dreams), I’m sitting in my bed, writing this blog post and waiting for my roomy to come home. New Yorkers have many different problems: way too high rents, way too little space, and mice.
Well, when I came here last week, I was a little worried about running into a mouse on the subway platform but not particularly concerned about having to share a room with one. As it turns out, today I got a new roomy. He’s smaller, faster, and way hairier than the others – oh, and he doesn’t speak (not even French, I tried).
I’m not scared of him (don’t know why but got the feeling it was a “he”), I even tried to catch him. You should have seen that. Me, running around in my pajamas, a cheese cracker, and a strainer. It was pure entertainment and I still hope my landlord has secretly installed a video camera and I could get this masterpiece on DVD.
As I said, I’m not scared of the mouse, however, I don’t want to touch Joey (he looks like a Joey, and again; don’t ask). I don’t want to touch the mouse because that’s just gross and I also don’t want him to touch my stuff. We simply don’t know each other well enough. I want my distance between Joey and myself. I would say, I need my time in order to get used to him and build up some trust but he’s a mouse so chances that I will actually ever trust him are non-existent.
Oddly enough this, however, made me think about distance, trust, and relationships in general. As many of you know, I’m not exactly a touchy-feely person. I don’t trust people that easily and even if you’ve gained my trust and I consider you one of my closest friends I still need my distance from time to time. I think this is also a reason why traveling on my own isn’t such a big deal to me. I don’t mind being alone and I don’t get easily bored.
I’m a single child who grew up with neighborhood kids but mostly grown-ups, so I had to keep myself busy and watch out for myself from an early age on. I always felt like I had to prove anything to anyone, had to either live up to or exceed their expectations, so being all by myself most times felt like the easiest way to go.
Still, I love being surrounded by people who are important to me and making strangers to friends. However, who knows me also knows how I can be pretty brutal about selecting who I hang out with and who has done too much to not be worth to be called a friend. If I feel like someone is wasting my time, doesn’t respect my boundaries, or doesn’t care about my feelings – I’m out. I don’t put up with this reckless behavior because friends are the family you choose and so I only want the A-team to be my friends.
You shouldn’t be surprised if suddenly I quit our friendship because I’m not a moody person who decides something from one day to another. I don’t just wake up and cut you out of my life because it’s raining or my head hurts. I’m cutting you out because you’ve ignored all my warning signs and proofed me right by doing so wrong.
People who know me also know that I always tell you what I think, I always tell you if something bothers me and I’m all for making things right again, giving second chances and forgetting about the past. But I’m not here to be disrespected, ignored, and getting nothing out of a relationship because that’s just not how it’s supposed to be.
I’ll tell you once, I’ll tell you twice but then it’s up to you how you handle things. You never ever betray, ignore or disrespect a friend and their feelings, that’s an unwritten law.
Joey respects that and he’s a mouse, so be more like Joey and be kind to another.
As always: feel free to share your thoughts on this topic!
Lots of Love,
MCT and Joey 😀